Culture Shock

I think the honeymoon is over.

In regards to culture shock that is. After all the traveling I have done, and living abroad for so long, it is kind of surprising to me that this is my first encounter with culture shock. Most people wrongly define culture shock. I am not literally “shocked” at the Japanese culture. Actually, I love the Japanese culture and lifestyle. I define culture shock as more of a yearning. A yearning for the familiar. A yearning for what is no longer there. Everyone yearns for something different. It may be food, culture, or something as simple and globally understood as people that care about you. I miss the things I took for granted at home.

Home. Another thing that is difficult for me to define. When I am asked about home, I never know whether to answer in favor of America or Germany. They are both equally my home, because both have what matters most- people who care about me. I think that I never went through culture shock in Germany because of this.

Now I am in a place that seems so familiar…but it isn’t. Even though you can buy Western things, hear Western music, and talk to fellow Westerners, there is something here that is totally foreign to me- the absence of people that care enough for me that they invite me to go places. People that care enough to ask me what is wrong when I am having a bad day. People that randomly call or stop by just to hang out and talk. People that give me random hugs in the middle of the day- even at work. Even the one person that should be familiar to me, a person that should provide solace, is foreign here.

It is now that I realize how much this experience reminds me of high school. Maybe high school was a constant state of culture shock; or maybe my “culture shock” is actually a reinstatement of uncomfortable memories from high school. A state of never-ending discontent because of the lack of meaningful interpersonal relationships. Where the people were immature and generally cared only about their small cliques. Where a person that fit into many groups was a repeatedly forgotten person that intrinsically floated between groups but never really fit in.

I guess in a collectivist society like Japan you can expect not to fit into a group if you are a foreigner; but also not to fit into a group from your own culture (or cultures in my case) can make for a tough time. I am sure that the culture shock will ease; or maybe my hopes are set too high, and I will have to wait until Christmas when I return to one of MY cultures with people who genuinely care about me to rise out of this state of culture shock nothingness.

Culture shock surfaces for different reasons in every person. For me, culture, food, and everything relating to the new country itself cannot bring me back from my “honeymoon.” Only the lack of authentic, two-sided relationships can allow culture shock to consume me. If my family and true friends are reading this, you are the reason for my happiness. No one wants their honeymoon to end- especially when it is the honeymoon of the culture shock U-curve model.